Jenn Geezy’s Aint No Half Steppin 2010 List

The New Year has started and so far, all is well. I hate to create my list at the beginning of the year because I really like to reflect on my goals of the past and put a lot of thought into my goals for the upcoming year. I also feel like I’m setting myself up for failure by starting anything on the 1st. I can also be a procrastinator which is the main reason for starting so late but it also takes me some trial and error before I “officially” start anything. I’m ready to unveil my 2010 list though so here it goes. Aint No Half Steppin this year.

Lets get right to it:

1. Cheese! The Devil! Get Thee Behind ME! I have got to do something-it’s ridiculous.
2. Face-Wrinkles Be GONE! Boobs, you alright but now more than ever you need proper support. Butt-please grow, please? Stomach, well darlin’, we been through a lot me and you, but your stay is far from welcome this year. I got rid of 50lbs of you last year and I will proceed with said plan for 2010 until you are DONE! Hair-you will get regular trims and maybe some highlights in the next few months. We will not fight about this.
3. La, La, La, La-Wait till I get my money right….Save Money-that Pearland house don’t come cheap…well some of them do but you know I gotta do a little extra. Since I can’t have the loft AND Mike, I will follow him where ever he may go… which happens to be right down 288.
4. School House Rock-it full-time and maybe a little summer fling till I’m done.
5. Be kind. That’s it, just be kind. Not just to outside folks either. I think we get a little comfortable with our friends and fam and forget that we need to treat them like if not better than everyone else!
6. Strive for more spiritual upliftment, growth, and balance in all areas of my life.
7. Read at least 1 book every month.
8. Community Service-because it’s a privilege not an obligation. Volunteer, donate time, money and goods. I want to find a few organizations I get lend my hand to. I want to hold a few drives.
9. Pray everyday that God puts me in a place where I am able to bless others.
10. Be a better wife. I think I’m a pretty good wife now but I know I can do better so I will.

I started Weight Watchers, Anti-aging processes, monthly facials, savings (in my secret bank account-I can say that since he’s not one of my 3 fans) and began the registration process for Spring. I started a new book last night too. I think I’m off to a good start. I would like to cross off some of the things in my “Do It” book like put my feet in the cool waters of the Atlantic, scream at the top of my lungs and hear the echo, see the sun rise in the east and set in the west, and say something sweet every night to the man that makes my heart beat fast and slow at the same time. Oh, and I gotta start playing that lotto religiously. Then I can cross off the biggest list item of all-cover the bed in quarters and roll around on the cool metal…naked…but I would also donate money of course…probably not the change I just rolled around naked in, but, um…yeah. The End. Happy New Year!

2009 Jenni's "Do The Right Thing" List Recap

The year has just flown by! It was so short! But it was abundantly blessed. I’m so thankful for all the relationships I’ve made and all strives I’ve made to better myself. My family is where it should be-growing, my friends are in great places in their lives and are so loving and genuine, and my marriage is blessed and right on track, loving, laughing and learning everyday. Children are still not on the radar so don’t hold your breath but now we’re not totally counting them out. Can you say growth or what? Excitement came with the presidential elections, new jobs, newly found resolve to finally finish school, and had some not so happy moments that were tough like rough economy, megastar deaths (I’ll miss you sham wow guy) and the scary fire in the patio. People had “The Hangover” moments in Vegas,” got married (in Puerto Rico no less!), people had babies (the perfect kind), people got divorced (normally not a happy occasion but if you know how to celebrate it right it turns into a REALLY fun night!) and there was so much laughter and genuinely good times that it warms my core to reminisce. I need to get on my “list” since I don’t make resolutions so I dug up my list from last year for the recap and to help me create my 2010 plan of attack!

2009 Jenni’s “Do The Right Thing” List was:
1.) Stop opening all the fortune cookies to find the fortune I like. I can’t help it. Its not changing.
2.) Stop eating so much cheese. Temptation-thy name is Sharp Vermont Cheddar, Feta, and Manchego …Cheese is my nemesis. This goes back to the top of my list for 2010.
3.) Don’t be so gullible; a Brazilian wax is excruciating! Well, I definitely managed to NOT get Brazilian waxes this year. I sported the 70s look for a while, then went 80s and let my SOUL GLO, then hooked up the bald fade to end the year. We like it. Maybe in 2010 I’ll get a design like an Eagle or the R for the Rockets or something…As far as being gullible goes, I’m trusting. I don’t think that’s gonna change. I’ll take you for your word and its gonna be on your conscience if you do me wrong because I’m your biggest advocate and you’ll just be mean…
4.) Don’t lie…only lied to Mike about how much money I spend. I guess I could put it back on my 2010 List…and stop shopping so much.
5.) Read the instructions-that’s a no brainer.
6.) Don’t be high maintenance-well as you can see from 4 I didn’t follow this one to well. I have been on a binge for a hot minute but I’ll cool out. I take it as catching up to all the years I NEVER shopped. If you look at it like that then I actually saved him money! I started my Pre-30s anti-aging remedies which can be a little high maintenance, then I got my eyelashes done which is a little too Diva even for this diva! I’m not too high-maintenance-that’s just what girls do. The salon is our Barber Shop and I could go every week but don’t so in away I succeeded at this goal. Good for me **patting myself on the back**
7.) Stop putting my fingers in my mouth-I don’t know where they’ve been. Can’t help it. I learned in this semester’s psych class that its all Mom’s fault for taking me off the pacifier too early. I have an oral fixation…(leaving open for comments-pun kinda intended)

All joking aside, my biggest goal for 2009 was for spiritual growth, balance, and success and I have definitely found all three. With that said, it’s a continual process that can’t be defined as achieved because I don’t think I can ever become fully spiritually grown, have complete success, or be completely balanced. I’ll continue to strive to be my best, to give my best, to give my all, and continue to work toward balance and spiritual growth which will ultimately lead to my success. I hope my 3 fans that read this blog have a very happy, safe, and fun New Year and take a little time to reflect on the year’s past and plan for the year’s future. Its gonna be fun. Its gonna be prosperous. Its gonna be the best one yet ya’ll!

Please be my friend...

I like you! I don't like very many people but I like you! Actually, it's not that I don't like very many people; it's more like not very many people like me. I'm not sure why. I think I'm pretty nice. Actually, I think I'm incredibly nice. When I'm at the park and the squirrels come around to steal my food or throw acorns at me I say firmly but nicely, "Hey squirrel, get out of here." I don't yell or throw things at them like other people do. If I see a homeless person and I have food, I always give it to them. Even if it means I have to turn right back around and go back for myself. I always keep at least $1 cash on me in case I have no food but most of the time I hand out $5 like its candy. I've even given away cake! Do you know how hard it is for a fat girl to give away cake?! I digress...

I'm not sure why I don't have many friends. I mean, I have a large group of people that I hang out with and I have a large family, and it seems like everywhere I go people who I supposedly hung out with or went to school with or did (insert “other things with”) come up to me. I have no clue who they are, but I never let them know that. That's how nice I am! I'm awfully personable-I have talked a bouncer into getting a group of 15 people into a hot nightclub for $20 when it was a $20 cover per person! Plus, I got free drinks the entire night and didn't even have to show my boobs! Well, I didn't have to show nipples-I always show boob. Again, I digress...

I think I'm a funny girl. I know I'm a sweet girl. I'm quite loyal and I'm never judgmental (Have you read this blog?! Who the heck am I to be judgmental?!) I truly feel your pain when you are sad and I'm genuinely happy when something good happens to you-even if my life is complete chaos (again-have you read this blog?)-I don't hate; I'm super excited for you! I just don't have friends.

Girls don't like me. I don't know why. They just don't. Girls are uncomfortable around me for some reason. I have guy friends in the masses though-and yes, they’re JUST my friends. I don't want your man. Believe me; I barely want the one I got! But I definitely don't want yours. I think a lot of women are insecure. I know I'm insecure but I don't think you would know it unless I told you. Besides its mostly about the things that come out of my mouth. Sometimes I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about some stupid thing I said! I have issues with communication. I'm not so goodly at it...but I'm NOT nor have I EVER been insecure about who I am. I kinda just live my life thinking "They're gonna LOVE you kid!" so it always surprises me when people don't.

Look, please just be my friend...

Maybe if I tell you a little about myself you’ll come around. I’m just me… I guess the older I get the more I see how lucky I am to have the loving, open-minded, caring, positive people I have in my life. My circle is particular and if your lucky enough to be in, you’re in it for life, unless you mess up-then it’s really your loss…I say just be true to yourself and to others. I love life! Idiots are my pet peeve so please don’t talk to me if you lack intelligence-I have no time for you. I am definitely NOT a morning person and I think the day shouldn't start till at least noon. I hate to be rushed- Especially when its YOU who made me late in the first place! I always have a plan-ALWAYS. Creativity inspires me. Injustice upsets me. I heard this joke once about a monkey, a hippo, and a polar bear that made me laugh so hard my abs hurt for 2 days! No one else found it funny, but it made me love monkeys, hippos, and polar bears now. I really get a kick out of people laughing at my jokes-I never think I’m funny when they laugh and when I think I'm hysterical all I hear are crickets… I love flirting! I flirt with EVERYONE! It's just my nature. It doesn’t mean I want to jump your bones or I got a crush on you so don't take it the wrong way-believe me, you’re not that special-and I know that sounds mean, but you read earlier how I believe we should be true to ourselves and others. I love sleeping-I can spend my whole life in a dream and sometimes I DO! I love my husband-he makes me happy to be a girl. I can admit that I'm a dork…at times, but knowing that just makes me the cool person I am-so there! I believe evolution and creationism can co-exist. I have a temper, and get emotional easily, but you won’t see until the dam breaks-then I’ll need your help. I do stupid things sometimes. It makes me happy when I find a seat at a crowded club or bar-like a special VIP just for me. I like when things go according to plan and I like change, but only if it’s part of the plan… I loathe fake people just as much as I detest the stupid ones. I like to laugh, A LOT! I love anything glamorous. I'm glamorous - I think. I have an addiction to cheese, cupcakes, and bubble gum. I think anytime is a good time to do the robot and I do it in the shower EVERY morning. I like to get my way (but then again who doesn't?) I like to think that I'm perfect but I know that I'm not. I am stubborn. I have goals and aspirations and I’m doing something about it!! My motivation is high and so is my ambition-have you ever touched the sky? I will. I'm shy, but I never let it show. I'm secretive and I can keep secrets. I am the heart…and you can’t live without your heart. I love my family. I love God. I am me.

If I haven't scared you off and you want to be my friend then please let me know. Because I like you! and I need someone to like me too! LOVE!!

Steak and a Blow Job? Yes Please! & Thank You!

My 3rd year anniversary is coming up in a few days. It’s been 11yrs but it’s only my 3rd year being “married.” Now, I could go into the reasons I put the word married in quotes but let me just make a long story short by saying we had the wedding but I never turned in the papers…don’t judge me.

I bring this up only to say that I’ve been doing some thinking about gifts. I’m not the type of girl who wants or asks for a lot. In fact, I’m pretty easy-no pun intended…well, maybe a little. I’m the girl who asks for knee-socks and lip gloss for my birthday and for Christmas all I want is new jammies and a naughty kiss under the cameltoe, er, I mean mistletoe. Now, this is not to say that those who ask for candlelit dinners and jewelry are high maintenance. Its nice to have the thought and effort put into a special night commemorating a special occasion, but honestly all I want to give AND receive on my anniversary is a beer, a blow, and some steak. Since I’m a giver, I wouldn’t have an issue with going first or like Chris Tucker once said “Same Time Man!! Same Time!”

I guess somewhere between “I Do” and “joint bank-account” I thought, if I’m getting $100+ flowers that will wilt, die, and become infested with small flying insects that I’ll later wonder if one flew up my nose while I was sleeping and decided to lay eggs, then 6 weeks later I’ll be in some important meeting and just when I’m making my point a bunch of little baby insects will come flying out of my nose and God forbid its while I’m flirting…that’ll show me… I’d rather my dear husband just ditch the flowers and instead not bitch about why every light in the house is on and how much the electric bill is this month. I’m sorry. I had the light on in the hallway because I was coming down the stairs and I’m afraid of the dark and the creaky stairs I’ve been telling you to fix for 3yrs, then when I got to the closet in the living room I remembered that’s where I left my cute purse with the big red bow on the front that matches that cute dress that I wore that night we went to the Spindle Top, and while looking for it I get the urge to pee so I have to turn on that light since you insist on leaving the frikken seat up and midstream the phone rings so I have to run into the kitchen before the answering machine picks up because your mom NEVER leaves a message and you swear up and down that I’m avoiding her! I’m sorry okay! I have successfully turned on all the lights, but I’ve noticed so as I’m about to retrace my steps to turn off all the lights you walk in and begin…So ask me if I want $100 flowers again.

Sure jewelry is always accepted; afterall, diamonds are a girl’s best friend but baby, if we can escape the country on what you spent on my ring then I’d have to say, please take me away! Let me stop. I always get something nice and he sure does try his hardest, but really- “married” for 3yrs, betrothed for 2 prior, dating for 5 before that and just plain old screwing around for a year or so before not including that one time at his sister’s (sorry Flee) and the other time in the mustang in the Astrodome parking lot that night GT had that release party. Look all I want is the beer, a blow, and some steak. Is that so wrong? I’ll even make you a deal, the beer can be domestic, the steak can be a Jack-in-the-Box taco, but the BJ MUST be like it was on our first date…er, I mean, oh hell, like it was on our first date and it must include that little swirly thing that you do that makes me giggle…

Love You Papi! Happy Anniversary Babe!

You know what? I’m not feeling it…

I’m not feelin’ it today. I hate being in this kind of mood. I’m so much better when I’m my sassy, silly, smiley self. More and more I’m feeling ornery and it makes me wonder where the “real” me went. I always pictured myself retiring to a beach of white sand and clear blue water as far as the eye can see. For some reason I only see my hand though- holding someone else’s hand and they happen to be white and skinny and very young-damn Sandals commercials…

The way I’ve been feeling lately, I think I’m gonna be that bitter old woman who looks like a witch with wiry gray hair and a black dress she’s worn since her late husband’s funeral 20yrs ago whom no doubt SHE killed with an ax that sits beside her, who sits in a rocking chair on her decrepit front porch cricking back and forth, chain-smoking and yelling at the neighbor kids to STAY OFF MY LAWN! I made a list of my “I’m not feeling it” items and I hope you join me in my fit of grouchiness:

1. People who have something to say about everything-I’m not feeling it…

2. Mike using the bathroom before me when we get home from work-I’m DEFINITELY not feeling it…

3. Bad ass bay-bays kids who happened to be named “Sage, Hunter, Jiffer, or last names ending in “the 3rd or 4th” (if you get my drift) AND their parents that insist on talking to them about their feelings instead of taking that sucker by the ear and dragging them to the bathroom like it went down when I was a kid and even THOUGHT about acting up-uh, uh, I’m NOT feeling it….

4. Butterface-I’m not feeling it…

5. People who still live with their parents and don’t have to pay bills but can afford to pay bills and their parents are so well off that they refuse the money so these cats are just sitting on stacks of paper and can take advantage of so many opportunities and DO!...boo-don’t tell me that-I’m not feeling it.

6. Perfect life, perfect wife, 2.5 kids and an SUV in the driveway and the bia don’t have to work-well, I’m just gonna have to hate on you today because I am not feeling it…

7. Maniacs with “Little Man Syndrome” that think they can run me off the road with their big ass trucks-Baby, if you only knew I wanted to be a race car driver when I was little and I am as stubborn as my last name provides and I will not be intimidated or moved. YOU, can go around…I am not feeling you Haas…

8. Work-nuff said.

So now that I’m done with my vent let me tell you what I am feeling:

1. I’m feeling the random action of a hand on my lower back ushering me through a door-no flirting, no sexual feeling from it, just plain good ol’ fashion gentlemenness.

2. The lady walking out of the CVS who motioned me to stop reversing because there was a soccer mom on a cell phone in my blind spot racing through the parking lot.

3. Genuine smiles and happiness when I enter a room and people actually like to see me (not being conceded-I’m actually always surprised and think they’re about to tell me something terrible but they always wind up just being nice. Why am I so self-conscious?)

4. My group of family and friends that are on the constant look out for fun and make my abs ache for 2 days straight from laughter.

5. My ride or die mentality. I got your back…you got mine? I’m feeling it…

6. People I can tell anything too without judgment-and the stuff I say could warrant serious confinement! My sisters and mentor-I will always be feeling it.

7. Crushes

8. Vodka and lemonade, vodka and pineapple juice, vodka and cranberry or orange or white grape or passion fruit juice, vodka tonic, vodka martini with 2 cherries, vodka on the rocks...do you get where I’m going with this???

I actually feel a lot better now. I think I’m gonna take a swig of this “apple juice” and suck it up because I gotta do what I gotta do. One day I’ll be that skinny white woman walking down the white beach looking out at the great blue ocean holding the hand of my white husband…I just know it will happen one day, I know it!

She's Baaa-aackk...

By special request, I have decided to come back to blogging. I have issues. I know this. I don’t deny it; I readily admit it. I would never say this out loud but I’m insecure about a lot of things especially my thoughts. I didn’t think anyone but my psychologist and occasionally, the authorities, paid attention to my psycho-ramble. I have to admit though I am flattered that two different people asked me about Sweet Girl Sugar. That’s right, I have a fan base of 2 whole people-if one was my mother I think I would have to kill myself…don’t judge me.

Of course, I have plenty to say until the pressure is on and then I get a total block. Its like a strobe light effect going on in my brain-I’m only catching parts of words. I think better without my pants on. I need to wait till I go home so I can take them off. I prefer not to wear pants. After work I run to my car and take my pants off before I drive home. I do a lot with my pants off. I do homework with out my pants. I study without my pants. I even stand in front of the fridge without my pants and eat pickles… sometimes I just sit and do nothing without my pants. Everything that can be done with pants is better without pants.

I have really random thoughts most of the time. I wish I could be more like those analytical thinkers that solve world hunger or invent innovative devices that the world never had before but now can never live without. Instead I think about why there isn’t a time of day that is mandatory nap time or why don’t humans have the ability to camouflage themselves if lizards can. I thought about gluing all the random things I found on the floor that mom told me never to touch but I still did anyway and making a scrapbook. I thought about having sex in a parking lot or on a park bench or on top of a magic carpet. I think it would be really fun, a little dangerous, but quite refreshing! Yes girls think about sex too. I also thought about socks which led me to the internet which led me to porn which brought me right back to sex…

I’m losing my mind. I’m taking all these classes trying to rush this degree but I can’t concentrate on the analysis of healthcare reform in 5 states or the mental processes of a monkey. I’m thinking about National give Jenn Candy Day and why my overweight bald no-teeth-having neighbor insists on coming over wearing nothing but boxers and socks to see if my water pressure is decent. I need a vacation. I need some sort of escape. These pants are too damn CONSTRICTING! Maybe I need a good stiff one-ALL puns intended, and I’ll be able to clear my mind and think about things that are constructive like inventing a cup that keeps the vodka at the right cool temperature without the rocks or how to send a text using voice technology. Things people never had but can never live without. Although now that I think a little further-vodka and voice text don’t necessarily go together like PB&J. I’ll have to think about it a little harder…harder…harder…damn, it always goes right back to sex...I need to get laid

Entrepreneur? or just Crazy?

I saw The Godfather Sunday. Wait; maybe I should say I FINALLY saw The Godfather Sunday. I got caught in the marathon which is close to 7hrs for only Godfather 1 and 2. I’ve never seen it before. I’ve seen snippets here and there, but never sat and watched the entire picture. This movie is incredible. I have no words. First of all, any movie with Dinero and Pacino is a must see, but we’re looking at a YOUNG Dinero and Pacino here. They’re easily the two most gorgeous men in the history of cinema. Anyway, by the time young Vito Corleone became head of the family I was thinking about the “American Dream” and craving a piece of the American Pie. But is it just relative? What is the American Dream?

This got me thinking of my own dream, or dreams rather. I have so many from being Diana Ross to a race car driver to a fabulous drag queen. Its seems like for the past decade I've wanted to own my own business. Entrepreneurship-now that’s MY American Dream. Its funny how some things sound like good ideas; they go in one ear, you get excited, and then its right out the other. Or the worst is when you have an idea but don't follow it, then see it on store shelves a year later! I wish I could count the numerous things I've thought about and seen in retail stores EVERYWHERE, especially those things that have become fads-like jeweled flipflops or rose bud hair clips! UGH!

Then there are those things that you just can’t seem to let go of, even when you think you have or you’ve tried, its still in your heart. That bug done bit me again….I know God has put it in my heart and He’s telling me to get with it! I see signs everywhere. You know how that happens? When you think about having a kid for instance, and then all you can see is pregnant women? Or when you have to pee really bad and then all of a sudden you see a dog taking a leak, and an old man watering the grass, and kids jumping in a pool, and someone drives down the street blaring ABBA’s Aquarius in their 1977 yellow Charger…Yeah, well I see those signs everywhere.

It has me all wound up inside. I want it so bad, but then I’m at a loss on where to begin. I’ve been accused of over-thinking, but its part of my processing. Besides, I’m vindicated in one of my favorite quotes “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” That’s not mine, that’s Gloria Steinem, but I agree with it. I mean, take my dream last night about zombies. I know now that I won’t let Richard and Pat use my car to get Pat’s twin bed from his house so he can sleep in my living room. I “PLAN” to make his ass sleep on the couch and under the cushions like he did back in the day. Instead of letting Little 3 and Silvio out to eat the zombies, I “PLAN” on keeping them inside the house with us. I also “PLAN” on not playing that stupid zombie video game so late anymore because then I have these dreams which aren’t related to my American Dream.

Anyway, if I haven’t lost you yet and you’re still crazy enough to read my irrational thoughts, there’s a diner somewhere where a piece of that American Pie rests on a pretty white plate beckoning you to take a bite. There’s a dollop of cool whip (emphasis on the H) on top and a shiny clean fork there for the taking. Although I think I’m running low on gas here and there, I “fill ‘er up” and keep on truckin’ because I know I’m so close I can taste it!

Man, this getting older stuff is frikken weird...

Is it me or has this year just been flying by? I had crazy dreams last night about everything from credit to Mario and Tina’s wedding. Its weird because I didn’t make it to their wedding because I was dog-sick. In my dream, I saw everyone I have been thinking about these past few weeks. I dreamt about Daniel driving the train in his bomber clothes with his necklace of aresol tips and his camo-pants 5x too big for his stature; I dreamt about Tara running after Mycaden and him doing this smart-alecky dance when she got stuck in this tree that looked like a giant fork; I dreamt about my aunt Myra with her red curly hair flying in the wind, laughing and waving to me as I ran with my cousins chasing the truck she was sitting on as it rode down the beach in Galveston; I dreamt about Ronda and me at this club, that turned into Mario and Tina’s wedding, dancing and laughing, carrying on and cracking jokes while Ying Yang Twins “To the Window To the Wall” played in the background. X was in my dream, really skinny, but kinda fine looking dressed like a vato-loco complete with the hair net covering his freshly pomade-greased hair. I even dreamt that I had this huge thick squiggly vain on my neck like those huge body builders that look like they’re wearing a body armor suit because their bodies are so huge but their heads are so small…

I know why I dreamt all of these things though. I had been thinking about the last time Daniel and I spoke and how he said he felt like a grown-up because he had a real job with benefits that he could see as a career. I reminded him of all the stupid things we used to do when we were kids-like sneak out at 4am to bomb a wall or jump a train to the other side of town. What the hell was I thinking?! I just saw Tara and Mycaden last night and he is a world full of sass. He is way to smart for his mouth! The fact that he was running his momma crazy and then mocking her in my dream was just reflective of real life. I’ve thinking of Tia Myra lately because I’ve been thinking of Gino, Little Myra, and Mario. It comes as a package. The anniversary of her death is soon and it’s still a little shocking and sad. Plus, Mike and I went to Galveston the night of my birthday (last week) and just seeing how different and damaged it is even 5 months after Hurricane Ike. I have so many memories growing up on that island in the summers of my childhood. I had thought about seeing Tina recently and how adorably pregnant she is and still growing even though it feels like just yesterday everyone was getting married. I’ve been thinking about Ronda a lot lately and about how happy she was the last time we saw each other. Tara said she had spoken with her recently so it only brought up more thoughts about her and how she’s doing. We had some fun times. I’m positive that’s the reason Ying Yang Twins was in the background-it was sort of our theme song. Finally, the professor himself, X will finally be in Houston soon. I feel so bad for not keeping in touch like I should have. We were steady communicating for a minute and then life popped up. I try to find the time, and sometimes I have sat and written 3 page letters that just never get sent. My guilt over being a bad friend and my will to be a better friend just collided in a really all-over-the-place dream. The vein issue has to do with my own vanity and the fact that I was reading one of Mike’s Muscle Man magazines with this goliath of a man who won like 8 or 12 Mr. Olympias. He’s disgusting…

All of this got me thinking about how life is just on the move. I feel in transition, from a “forever 21” mindset to an “OH SHIT! I’M ALMOST 30!!” mentality. I wish I had more time. People look back sometimes and when they’re posed the question if they have regrets most say no. That’s bullshit! I used to say that too! I regret plenty. I would change a whole mess of stuff. I would mostly change missing out on some important things like Mario and Tina’s wedding, the first year of Maddie’s life, not keeping in touch with X for the past 9 months, letting bullshit get me frustrated or get the best of me, staying close to my friends and not letting another minute pass by without letting them know how much they mean to me. I wouldn’t take for granted opportunities I had to spend time with people because you really never know when or if you’ll have that opportunity again.

It seems like life is so busy these days and even though I want to do all of this, its hard. They say give yourself a chance and don’t let life pass you by but the world around you is a rat race. Here we are entering March. We’re out of the first quarter of the year. December feels so far away, but its almost so close I can touch it. My hope for the rest of the year is to reconnect with my people. I’m striving to be a better friend, a better cousin, a better sister, a better wife, a better person, but at the same time, it’s a two-way street. I hope my people have plans to do the same to not let life just pass them by, but to get fulfillment in every moment. Join me on cloud 9-in a world of love and harmony.

Healthy Recipes: Mini Meatloaf!

I was chatting with a friend about my passion for cooking and I’ve realized that ever since I’ve decided to lose weight, I haven’t had that zeal I once had. Mike has tied his apron strings and has taken over the kitchen lately. He’s become experimental and he’s gotten a lot more comfortable in the kitchen. He’s actually made some really great dishes lately. Leave it to a man to bring simple, yet delicious foods back. I got to thinking about it and I realize that I have a lack of healthy recipes. Its easy for me to create recipes with tons of butter (i.e. flavor) and cheese (i.e. gooey goodness) and love (i.e. love). But I haven’t really given too much thought on creating great recipes in a healthier way. This brings me to my new segment- Healthy Recipes for the Caloric Impaired. I think this will help me spark that passion for cooking I once had and very much miss and the creativity of finding a healthier technique turning high fat, high calorie favorites into their much healthier-same taste, counterparts. Here’s one that I’ve been thinking about:

Mini Meatloaves

Ingredients:
1lb lean ground beef
.5lb lean ground pork
1 large egg, beaten slightly
1/4 c Parmigiano-Reggiano, grated
1/4 c wheat bread crumbs (use your food processor to pulse 2 or 3 slices of wheat bread)
4 tbsp Italian seasoning
1/4 C chopped fresh parsley (just a handful-not quite 1/4c)
1 small chopped onion
1 small bell pepper
2/3 Tspn ground pepper
3 TBSP Worcestercshire sauce
1 crushed beef bullion cube (instead of salt)
1/4 Can of diced tomatoes, NOT DRAINED

Directions:
1.) Coat 8 muffin tins with cooking spray. Using a muffin tin allows you to regulate portion sizes.
2.) Mix meat, egg, bread crumbs, Italian seasoning, parsley, onion, bell pepper, ground pepper, bullion, 1 1/2 TBSP Worcestershire sauce, 1/4 cup cheese, and 1/4 can of diced tomatoes in a large bowl.
3.) Form the meat into 8 balls and put them in the muffin cups. Combine 2 TBSP of ketchup and 1 1/2 TBSP of Worcestershire sauce and spread 1/2 teaspoon over each mini meatloaf.
4.) Put the muffin tin on a baking sheet and bake for 20-30 minutes. Pour off fat before serving.

Serve with roasted rosemary new potatoes or garlic and herb mashed potatoes and roasted or steamed veggies.

Alternatives:
Substitute the bullion cube and onion for a packet of onion dip or soup mix and avoid the tears from cutting the onion.

Add spice by adding a few dashes of Tobasco to the ketchup and Worcestershire topping.

Add spice and flavor by substituting 1/2 c of salsa instead of diced tomatoes.

Eliminate some sodium content by substituting low sodium tomato sauce instead of ketchup.

Cut fat/calories by using .5lbs of ground lean sirloin, ground lean pork, and ground lean (90/10) turkey or chicken. Make sure to really work meat together with your hands when you mix them with the other ingredients.

Freeze leftovers in individual portions and reheat in microwave for 3-5 minutes.

Hello, My Name is Jenn...and I am a TV Addict

Do you ever feel ADD? I think I’m starting to. It’s carrying over to my “real” life not just my imaginary me. I think it started to happen when we lost the remote control. I’m forced to get up and change the channels during the commercials or leave it and sit through monotonous Geico and FreeCreditRepot.com commercials. Ugh. I usually opt for getting up because some days are easier than others.

Take Tuesdays for instance. Last night John Quinllones with ABC has his half-investigative, half-scientific, half-social experiment show. Well, I guess it would be thirds, not halves. Anyway, he has this show called “What Would You Do” which is based on creating a scenario while hidden cameras are taping the reactions of normal everyday people in certain ethical situations. He then interviews them as to why they reacted or didn’t react when confronted with said situations. Throughout the takes, he interviews psychologists for professional/behavioral answers. Then he changes the parameters like age, gender, and/or race of the victim/assailant that’s “in” on the experiment to see if that changes the outcome. Last week’s experiments included how women/men reacted when they see someone stealing from an open house. The realtor was in on the experiment and the “thieves” were white females, black females, and a black male all in different scenarios. All the experiments ended the same way, with someone speaking up and refusing to let them leave while someone called the police (who were also in on the experiment). Women were more likely, more outspoken, and more vigilant about calling the “thief” out and refusing to let them leave and even blocked the door. In the scenario with the black male they were more hesitant, especially since it was a white male, refusing to let the man leave. There was a scenario about a blind people being talked to like they’re idiots and getting ripped off because they can’t see the change someone gives them. This week was what would you do if you saw a locked car and a baby left inside? The baby was actually a realistic doll so no one was harmed. It’s FACINATING. By the way, people do the right thing in every situation. Gives me hope for mankind.

At the same time the new season of Nip/Tuck is on. I know its mindless trivial nonsense but it’s totally HOT! Murder, lies, plastic surgery and explicate sex?! What more could anyone want in a show? The last think I want to do after a long day of pushing papers is think, so I immediately look forward to Tuesdays. This poses a problem though since I’m now torn between my passion for seeking knowledge of human behavior and watching the raw animalistic human nature in the form of Christian Troy. I have my own running list of social experiments that should be done-oh, what to do what to do?!

Even still, The Office reruns on TBS which was the whole reason I started watching TV on Tuesdays. The Office makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable and I think that helps me cope in my imaginary life. King of the Hill is also on at the same time on Adult Swim. I know it’s a cartoon, but its pretty frikken funny! Since everything I do is ass-backwards, it would make sense that I would feel ADD by watching only 1 show as, opposed to when I have my remote, watching all 4! I can’t wait till tonight, I only have 2 shows, both on the same channel! LOST! I know what you’re thinking, but the encore of Damages comes on after Nip/Tuck on Tuesdays so I wait till then to catch it. I don't have a problem, but I can quit whenever I want!

Reflections/Hair Did/Superbowl

Can you believe its February already? It seems like just last week we celebrated New Years. Boy, life can pass you by if you let it. Good thing we’ve been living it lately and taking advantage of almost every moment. This month I think I’ve made good strides for personal and spiritual growth. I’ve taken steps to learn how to communicate better and I’m learning how to filter my thoughts to get my point across without useless details. Communication isn’t one of my strongest suites but I hope to change that this year. I’m also learning how to relate with strong personalities which is awesome since we all seem to have them! Spiritually, the pinpoint-sized light at the end of the tunnel is now size of a very large beach ball and rapidly expanding. I feel so grateful these days of every day we have, everything we have, everything we’re able to do, and every one that shares their lives with us. I know it’s through His will that we’re all healthy, happy, and finally movin’ on up. My family is doing great; everyone is healthy and happy. Life’s too short for strife. I know even brighter days are yet to come and I am excited!

I finish the month with a 15lb weight loss. Not bad if I say so myself. I’m learning healthier habits, making better choices, and feeling really good about myself. I have a long way to go, but it took a long time to get where I was 15lbs ago. I’ve learned patience really is a virtue and now I can say its one of mine.

The beginning of the year has been incredible and if it’s any indication of what’s to come then I’m ready!!

February started with a much needed makeover, great fun, an abundance of good food, good people, laughter and love. I’m sure all the moving taking place this weekend was exhausting (I wouldn’t know since it was an “All About Jenn” pamper/makeover weekend) but it pays off with mom and Josh in an incredible place, with an incredible view, and more importantly, an incredible venue for the Cheesy Valentine’s Day Birthday Bash to take place! Look for more details on that in upcoming blogs…

Superbowl at Dev and Javi’s should be an annual event. They threw one heck of a party! Besides the Steelers making history and winning for 6th time in an INCREDIBLE game and the most memorable thus far, and probably the best Superbowl game in History, Temo was definitely the entertainment of the night! He was the life of the party and the comedy too! I bet he slept like a bear when it was all said and done. Hats off to the chefs for the tantalizing spread off everything from 5 different dips and 3 different salsas, to the chicken and beef perfectly grilled, to the meaty cheesy nacho goodness, to the arroz y frijoles refritos! Man, it was pretty much GONE by the end of the night. I kinda wish I had binged! I missed out man… Next year, I vote for a 2nd annual Dev and Javi Superbowl!

I don’t have a lot of pics since I forgot I had my camera with me, but here are the one’s I do have…Its of Superbowl and my hair-I put my hair pics in there because I LOVE IT! and you can actually see my weightloss! I haven't been able to tell, but these pics were NOT taken over and over to get the angle just right so I look thinner, they were taken straight on! I can't beleive it! One of these days I'll hook up a slideshow for ya...until that day, here's the link. Enjoy!

PS. Look how proud my Tio Jamie is-and this was BEFORE the Superbowl-I think you can see every TOOTH!

http://s219.photobucket.com/albums/cc37/sweetgirlsugar/?action=view¤t=a87fb286.pbw

If that doesn't work-try this one:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/ViewSlideshow.action?&collidparam=425449100107.769779366307.1233687937745

I Want Your Cream....

I’m in the market for creams, not “cream” but facials…wait, not “facials” but…well, ok, I’m looking for a moisturizer and eye cream. ((sigh)) I’ve decided to get started on this anti-aging thing before it’s too late. Prevention is the key and I already feel like I’m years behind. I’ve always used Oil of Olay moisturizer for as long as I can remember, although there was a time in my mid-20’s I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t use anything.


I believe I have read reviews on just about every product and I’ve narrowed the choices down to 2. The Olay Regenerist line seems tempting and quite promising from their reviews. Since I already use their moisturizer I would just assume stay with the Olay line. I was originally looking at their eye serum but read a review that the only difference between the Olay Regenerist Daily Regenerating Serum and the Olay Regenerist Eye Lifting Serum is the size of the price, the size of the bottle, and the eye serum has some sort of light-reflecting particles that help with darkness under the eye. The eye serum is .5fl oz bottle for average $18-$24 and the Daily Regenerating Serum is the same price for 1.7fl oz bottle-so 3x as much for the same price! It has the same ingredients (with the exception of the light-reflecting particles); its same product. The reviews were basically, it’s a light gel, not heavy and greasy, pleasant smell, non-irritating, etc. and the results were softer skin, healthy skin, smoother skin, more youthful although it didn’t make the already established wrinkles disappear, it did make them softer. 9 out of 10 would repurchase.


Avon ANEW Clinical Eye Lift also had rave reviews. For about $28 you get a combo of upper eye gel and lower eye cream in the same jar. Apparently, this product really works for puffiness and dark circles as well as tightening of the upper lid. Women who used this product twice a day noticed astonishing improvements with diminished wrinkles and tighter skin on the eyelid and softer smoother skin under the eye. It even helped with dark circles. Some called it a “miracle product.” The huge CON is that it doesn’t contain sunscreen. Also, the under eye cream is heavy so wearing it under make-up causes your make-up to crease. Most remedied it by using the products at night or using only the under-eye cream at night. I noticed a lot of the best reviews came from older women 50’s to late 70s. A lot of the bad reviews came from women in their 20’s-mid 30s. I think I’ll side with my age group and pass.


I happen to adore Avon. They’ve revived their brand and really do have quality products. I’ve tried some of their ANEW products like the night cream and the moisturizer, but I found them heavy and too greasy for my skin. I swear by their Ageless Results Intensive Line Filler though ($13). It wears well under make-up and I notice a difference when I don’t use it daily. I’m interested in trying their other line filler product-ANEW CLINICAL Expression Line Filler ($35). The reviews make it sound like the Cadillac of Line Fillers-and for the price-it better be! It’s had no bad reviews! That must be a heck of a product.

So hey, there you have it-my picks for this year’s trial of hanging on to youth tooth and nail. If you try these products, let me know what you think about them. In this economy, my money is precious and I don’t want to waste it on a product in a fancy bottle that does nothing for me.

The Olay Regenerist line can be found at any drug store and grocery store.
You can find the Avon products at www.avon.com or your nearest Avon representative. (If you need a rep-let me know-I know plenty!)

“Bag Lady, you gone miss yo bus. You can’t hurry up; you got too much stuff….”

I’ve had Erykah Badu’s Bag Lady in my head all day. I finally just realized that the song is about baggage and not literally a “bag lady.” I am so naïve sometimes. “Baggage” has been brought up 3 times this week which I find strange since it’s typically not something I hear about much. When I think of someone with baggage, I usually think of a little old feeble woman with a little yellow wig slightly askew, wearing a little old lady dress with brown floral prints, with too-red lipstick settling in her wrinkled lips, sitting in a small cluttered apartment that smells stale, filled with old newspapers and plastic covered furniture, sucking on hard candy, watching a game show as her only friend-a pet bird-squawks in the background and maybe one old holey stocking is rolled down exposing a leg that’s patched with dry spots and greenish-purple varicose veins and is in desperate need of a shave. She’s completely alone. Maybe she’s content. After all, her nails are meticulously painted. Its only in the last quiet moments before she drifts off to sleep does she think about her life and the missed opportunities. Truth is all of us have baggage: baggage from a previous relationship, from a previous job, from a previous life…

I guess I’m lucky to have baggage that I trip over every now and then, that I can stick in a corner and let it collect dust and not the type of baggage that takes up every inch of space, towering over you, denying you of oxygen…suffocating. But I’m not attached to much either. I’m not one for sentimental trinkets and old this and that. I guess it’s a bad thing, too, because I really don’t have much of my past, but it’s because it’s my past. Why hang on to it-especially the bad stuff. Why not look forward, instead of back? Why would you want to remember how so-and-so treated you like crap, or how so-and-so cheated on you, or how so-and-so really screwed you out of a promotion or money or clients? Why hang on to something that’s gone, never was, and never will be? On the flip, they say that if you forget history, you’re doomed to repeat your past. Is forgetting part of that baggage or is remembering? And what about those good things, do they hinder you, too? I guess it depends. Does it hurt to think back on lost opportunities of love? Do you ever think about the “what ifs”? How would your life have been different if you wound up with your high school love who is now a very successful business man, medical doctor, lawyer, mechanic? Do you base your decisions on a past standard that can’t be met (and probably wasn’t as you remembered anyway)? “All you must hold on to is you, is you, is you….” “Girl I know sometimes it’s hard and we can’t let go, Oh, when someone hurts you oh so bad inside, you can’t deny it, you can’t stop crying….” “Bag Lady.” “One day all them bags, gone get in your way….” “Pack light.” Sometimes it’s easier said than done. But the answer is so simple. “Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go.”

Shrimp and Pasta Kinda Like Alfredo But Not As Heavy As Alfredo And It Has Wine In It

Here’s what I made for dinner Tuesday...LAST Tuesday. It was ok but I made the corrections to the recipe so I can do it different next time. I think with these adjustments it would have been perfecto (using my Italian typing)! It was super easy too and took like 30 minutes. With saying that let me say that I DID NOT get this recipe from 30-Minute Meal Whore Rachel Ray (her legal name), nor did I plan it to take 30 minutes. Mike actually thought it up, I just enhanced it. I don’t have the name for it yet, but I thought about naming it “Shrimp and Pasta Kinda Like Alfredo But Not As Heavy As Alfredo And It Has Wine In It” but I think that’s too wordy….

Anyway, here’s the recipe:

5 tomatoes-diced (I used a can of diced tomatoes and it sucked-it was too mushy; use real tomatoes)
Basil leaves-stems removed (like whatever kind of bunch you have I don’t know like a handful of leaves. I just pulled from the bush and tore them; I don’t know how much it was).
2 Tbsp Olive Oil
1 Tbsp minced garlic
2 tsp-1Tbsp Italian seasoning (to taste)
Salt and pepper to taste

2 Tbsp butter
½ C white wine (you don’t have to use wine but if you do-get a good wine that you would drink because the flavor concentrates when it reduces).
1 ½ C heavy cream (or you can use whole milk or creamer-don’t use skim or 2% milk)
1 C grated parmesan cheese
1 box of angel hair pasta (cook it like you would normally)
2 handfuls shredded mozzarella
1lb shrimp-peeled (you can use more-I used 2lbs and it wasn’t enough for 4-we likes skrimps!)

Preheat Broiler!

Combine tomatoes, basil, olive, oil, garlic, Italian seasoning, salt and pepper in a bowl. Cover and set aside (do this first because you want it to sit for as long as possible before you add them to the pasta-the longer it sits the better it tastes.)

In a skillet, melt butter and stir in white wine and bring it to a boil (so it reduces a little-don’t just put the sucker on high and go to the next step as soon as it boils). Add heavy cream and lower to a simmer. Let it reduce for about 5 minutes. As it simmers, add the parmesan cheese slowly while whisking-let it simmer for another 3 minutes, whisk it again and remove it from the heat. It will thicken as it cools. RESIST ADDING SALT OR ANY SEASONING because when everything reduces it will be too salty if you add it (a mistake I made). Add cooked and drained pasta and tomato concoction to skillet and toss the pasta to coat it in the sauce.

Transfer the pasta to a serving platter (or casserole dish like I have-I’m so not fancy) and top it with mozzarella cheese.

Grill or sauté the shrimp and set them aside. (I sautéed them in melted butter, 1 ½ Tbsp minced garlic, 1 Tbsp dried parsley and ¾ tsp of Italian seasoning-cook them till only a little pink-not fully cooked. They will have carry-over cooking, plus in the next step they get cooked more.

Broil the pasta with the mozzarella cheese for a few minutes-til the cheese is melted and ooey-gooey.

Top the pasta with the shrimp. Garnish with extra basil if you have. (Enjoy!)

Resolutions Week 2-New Challenges

Last week went pretty well. The mornings started with Mike (aka The Enforcer) confidently strolling toward me (the flirt), then tackling me to the ground (foreplay), opening mouth open (is it warm in here?) before he stuck a big, long, thick… multi-vitamin down my throat (not as satisfying…but sort of taste the same…). I managed to drink my 64oz everyday and I do at least a mile a day between running back and forth from my office to the bathroom (64oz is killing my bladder) and then the walk from my car to my office and back. But I didn’t actually make it a point to walk after work. This job has been kicking my butt! But I am changing it up this time- I’m upping the challenge this week to 3 miles 3x this week since there is a collaborate effort to walk at Studewood Park in the Heights. The full track is about 3 miles and it has hills too so it’s quite the workout. If I can make it there 3x this week that would be great! Breakfast and lunch were the same Mon-Thursday but my boss took me out to lunch Friday (whoo hoo for me!) I’ll continue eating the same thing Mon-Fri until I trust myself to eat differently…or until I get up earlier to actually make breakfast and lunch. I’m adding sit ups to my list this week. I used to be one of those people who did like 500 crunches every other day using the ball, the ab roller, the thing where you hold yourself up and lift your legs and every other contraption and medicine ball available. I did side crunches and leg lifts and a sort of Pilates before it was called Pilates. I was no where near a flat stomach, but my clothes fit better and I had a definite waist unlike now where it looks like I wear an inner tube under my clothes (Schlitterbaun anyone?). I’m gonna try to do at least 100 crunches every other night (25 regular crunch, 25 each side obliques, and 25 leg lifts) and I know Mike will be on my azz to do it. Maybe it’ll be kinky like the multi-vitamin (action twice a day-Score!) Anyway, here’s my list.

Week 2
1.) Drink 64oz of water a day.
2.) Walk 3 miles 3x this week.
3.) Eat the same breakfast and lunch Monday through Friday.
4.) Do sit-ups every other night

Stay tuned till next week where I attempt to weigh-in. Watch Out Now!